{"ops":[{"insert":"Dominating behavior entails controlling or using power over others to serve your interest, without regard to the rights and needs of others. We might also call this “top dog” behavior. Many problems in human life stem from the human tendency to dominate others. It is obvious in those who bully. Domination is often indirect and therefore difficult to detect. Human domination through manipulation plays a central role in modern society. It almost always harms, at some level, those being controlled. Tremendous suffering results from this tendency.\n \nUnfortunately, people who are successful at dominating others, people who can get others to do what they want through direct control, power, or manipulation, might be among those least likely to change. This is true because “successful” dominators tend to experience positive emotions. They usually see things as going well for them. They like their life and tend to think that their relationships are generally good (even when others in those relationships are unhappy). If you are such a person, you will have to work harder to change (than someone who experiences the negative consequences of his or her controlling behavior). You will have to change, not because you experience emotional pain or obvious problems in relationship to others, but because you recognize the unethical nature of dominating behavior.\n \nReasonable people do not want to dominate others, even when they can get away with it, and even when they personally benefit from their controlling behavior. They would rather give up something themselves than hurt others to get what they want. As you develop your rational capacities, you become less controlling and less subject to the control of others.\n \n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Be on the lookout for…"},{"insert":"\n…dominating behavior—yours and others. Notice when people use language to dominate and control others. Detect differences between what they say and what they mean. Study your behavior to determine\nwhen and whom you tend to dominate. Are you “successful?” Is it worth it? Do you know anyone who routinely dominates people? Of course, there are circumstances when it is essential for one person to be in control, and when that person does so reasonably (as with the captain of a ship or a parent supervising a young child). Top-dog behavior, on the other hand, is designed to exercise power over others to serve one’s interest or get what one wants.\n \n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Strategies for becoming less dominating:"},{"insert":"\n• Identify areas in your life in which you irrationally try to control others. At home? At work? With your spouse? Your partner? Your children?\n• Now consider the consequences. Are you really “successful” in getting what you want? To what extent does it lead to fulfillment? To what extent does it lead to frustration? Is it worth it?\n• Notice how people “rationalize” dominating others. Note the reasons they give. Look for the actual reasons. Observe the usual results of domination in different situations.\n• Legal, economic, and military domination are common in human history and are always seen by dominators as justified and essential. Develop your awareness of individuals and groups who invest energy and resources in controlling others. Notice how often “dominating” behavior is justified as “self-defense” or “in the interest of the person/group being dominated.”\n• Recognize that if you can’t identify any part of your life in which you inappropriately control others, you are either highly self-deceived or you tend toward submissiveness when egocentrically seeking what you want.\n \nThis blog piece slightly modified from "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"30 Days to Better Thinking and Better Living"},{"insert":" by Linda Elder and Richard Paul, 2013, Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, pp. 119-121.\n"}]}