{"ops":[{"insert":" "},{"attributes":{"color":"black"},"insert":"Resentment is one of the many destructive emotions experienced by humans. All humans experience brief episodes of resentment, including when they have indeed been mistreated. But whatever may be its origins, when allowed to continue past a few minutes, resentment may grow like a cancer in your mind—easily engulfing you and impeding any chance you may have of being happy. Resentment may cause you to act out towards other people, to sabotage them, to harm them."},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"black"},"insert":"Resentment comes from thinking that somebody has done something to you that they had no right to do, or in other words, that they have wronged you. It is not irrational to be disappointed and even angry when someone has mistreated you. In many such cases, the person who has wronged you can be given the chance to redress the wrong. Some cases are more complicated, such as when the wrong is egregious (in which case your best option may be to avoid that person in the future), or when the person who has mistreated you cannot make amends (such as a deceased parent). Of course, you may also feel resentment based on your own faulty reasoning about another person’s behavior or motives. In such a case, your misunderstanding of the other person’s intentions leads you to a misplaced and destructive feeling of resentment."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"black"},"insert":" "},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"black"},"insert":"Critical thinkers take command of their feelings by understanding the thinking underlying those feelings, throughout every day, as they move through varied contexts and circumstances. They then correct any detected faulty thinking that leads to negative emotions such "},{"insert":"as resentment.\n\nOne common example of resentment occurs when you stay in a relationship in which you perceive your partner to treat you without respect, consideration, or love, and you continually blame the other person for wronging you (whether the person actually has or not). You may be in the habit of repeating to yourself, again and again, phrases like, “This is so unfair. How can he be so inconsiderate and selfish? Why do I have to put up with this? If he really loved me, he would never treat me like this.” Ironically, "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"it is in fact your own mind which is wronging you the most"},{"insert":". If you decide to stay in a relationship in which you feel that you are not treated as well as you wish, at least "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"understand "},{"insert":"that you are making the active decision to stay in the relationship. If you then harbor the negative emotion of resentment while in the relationship, you should recognize that you are actively deciding to be resentful, though you know your partner’s limitations. Is it possible to leave the relationship? Do you want to leave the relationship? What are you getting in the relationship that keeps you from leaving? Do the positives outweigh the negatives in the relationship? If this is an important issue in your life, write out in detail your answers to the questions above.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Think about the last time you experienced resentment. "},{"insert":"Complete these statements:\n1. The situation was as follows . . .\n2. I felt resentment because . . .\n3. In other words, I do not like when I am treated as follows . . .\n4. The thinking I am doing which is causing this resentment is . . .\n5. The thinking I am doing that is problematic in this situation is . . .\n6. I need to change my thinking to the following . . .\n7. Once I change my thinking, my behavior should change as follows . . .\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":" "},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"As you move through this week, check in with yourself routinely to make sure you are not harboring the feeling of resentment. "},{"insert":"Each time you experience resentment, complete the statements above for that situation. Do this until you no longer feel resentment as a powerful emotion in your life. Remember, if you cannot change your situation, "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"you can change your mind"},{"insert":". You can control how you think about the situation. This understanding is at the heart of becoming a critical thinking person.\n\n\nThis material in this blog has been slightly modified from the upcoming book: "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"Critical Thinking Therapy for Mental Health and Self-Actualization: Workbook"},{"insert":", by Linda Elder, in press.\n"}]}