{"ops":[{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":"Emotions come from, and influence, our thoughts. Many unreasonable thoughts are recurring and become habitual, causing you pain, frustration, and any number of other negative emotions. Unreasonable thoughts are based in selfish, self-denigrating, hypocritical, prejudicial, biased, conformist, and/or otherwise narrowminded or illogical reasoning."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":" "},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":"While unreasonable thinking frequently leads to negative, destructive thinking, reasonable or sensible thoughts should lead to more positive and productive emotions, and to a higher level of overall contentment. Reasonability is based to a large degree on the routine application of intellectual standards to one’s reasoning – standards such as accuracy, logicalness, breadth, depth, significance, and fairness. Of course, some situations in which humans find themselves are horrifying. "},{"insert":"It would be extremely difficult to employ critical thinking about one’s emotions while being tortured, for example. But as a general principle, in terms of mundane everyday life concerns, the more reasonably, logically, and openmindedly you think, the more satisfying will be your emotional life.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"windowtext"},"insert":"To eliminate or at least diminish your negative, unproductive thoughts requires first becoming conscious of them. Here is a routine exercise you can engage in to effectively deal with your negative emotions by uncovering the thinking that causes them. "},{"attributes":{"color":"windowtext","bold":true},"insert":"Whenever you experience a negative feeling, immediately pause all your actions (where possible) and see if you can identify the thinking leading to this feeling"},{"attributes":{"color":"windowtext"},"insert":". What precisely is the thinking that leads to this feeling? Is it reasonable or unreasonable? If it is reasonable, and if the situation is the actual problem, you will need to change your life circumstances where possible. This will require you to change your thinking; if there is nothing you can do in an unpleasant situation, correct your thinking with a more realistic way of looking at the situation. Facing the situation directly is the first step to changing it, or even knowing if you should change it. But do not hide from the truth about the thinking underlying your emotions."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"windowtext"},"insert":" "},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"windowtext"},"insert":"Imagine, for instance, that you ruminate over the notion that you are not loved by a given person to whom you have given your love and who you have depended on for a long-term intimate relationship. This person has left you for good now. You feel you can’t “stand it.” You feel that you can’t tolerate the situation because you must be loved by that person who has left you. Through this way of thinking, you have left yourself no choice but to be miserable."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":" "},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"windowtext"},"insert":"But you need not think this way at all; you have the choice to simply look at the situation logically and realize that this is the way it is, and you need to move on to creating your future. Consider: Is this person the only person in the world you can love? Of all the many thousands of people you might meet in your lifetime, is this the only person on the planet for you? Are you unworthy of love simply because one person does not love you (or your parents didn’t love you)? And even if you never find the great love of your life (and most people do not), aren’t there many ways to give and receive love?"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":" "},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"windowtext"},"insert":"Obsessing over not being loved by a given person or persons is unreasonable in several ways. First, it presupposes that your well-being depends on what someone else feels toward you – a way of thinking that is bound to lead to pain, since each of us will at times be rejected. Second, it presupposes that love is based in getting your way rather than understanding and respecting the needs of the one who is loved. If the person you love believes he or she must move on from your relationship to grow and develop in her or his own way, the reasonable way to show your love is by letting that person go, however much pain it may cause you. "},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":"By acting out, throwing a tantrum, following the person around, or talking down about the person, you only demonstrate immaturity and lack of self-command. And you prove that you do not in fact love that person but are instead irrationally dependent on her or him."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":" "},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":"All your negative emotional states should be examined and analyzed in a way similar to the analysis in the example above. With this in mind, "},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653","bold":true},"insert":"complete these statements for each negative thought you had this past week:"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":" "},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":"1. The negative thought I experienced was . . ."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":"2. This negative thought is a problem because . . ."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":"3. I need to replace this thought with the following realistic thought . . ."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":"4. Based on this analysis, I intend to change in the following ways . . . [Again, note that you may just need to change your thinking in the situation to be more realistic or reasonable, like when you feel you have been rejected when you have not been. Alternatively, you may need to get out of a situation or relationship that is causing these recurring negative thoughts. Either way, you must first change your thinking.]"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":"Now that you have recognized some of your powerful negative thoughts and emotions, you need to actively rework your thinking (and your behavior when needed). See more on the relationship between thoughts and emotions in the Center for Critical Thinking Community Online, at this link: "},{"attributes":{"color":"#0563c1","link":"https://community.criticalthinking.org/triangleOfThinking.php"},"insert":"https://community.criticalthinking.org/triangleOfThinking.php"},{"attributes":{"color":"#4c5653"},"insert":" "},{"attributes":{"color":"#211d1e"},"insert":"."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"color":"#211d1e"},"insert":" "},{"insert":"\nThis material in this blog has been slightly modified from the upcoming book: "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"Critical Thinking Therapy for Mental Health and Self-Actualization: Workbook"},{"insert":", by Linda Elder, in press.\n"}]}