4y, Posted for: Whole Community
Teaching moments with Teenagers
Posted by: Aaron Jones
Today my Teenage son, who considers himself very progressive and enlightened, and thinks his parents don't understand his generation (and I agree I do not understand them) asked me to purchase him a High School year book for $100. When I asked what the kids at his school did who could not afford such a thing did, that it seemed unfair to me and discriminatory against a large portion of the student body. We talked for 15 mins about what could be done, I made suggestions and tried to get him to see the inherent bias in the system, in the end he said "I just want a yearbook, I am not going to do anything about it". That statement cuts core of the problem with peoples thinking. We just want what we want and we really do not care about how it effects other people or how we can make things better.
If everyone just waits for someone else to change the system, who will ever make the change?
If everyone just waits for someone else to change the system, who will ever make the change?
Posted by: Agnieszka Alboszta
I see a couple obstacles here: one is that being "progressive and enlightened" can (and often is) limited to one's ideas and values. It does not necessarily translate into actions. The second challenge has to do with the brain of a teenager. As brain research has discovered, the teenage brain is different still from the adult brain, with the risk-taking center, for instance, very active. This provides an interesting overview: https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/teen-brain-development/
Certainly, this does not mean that there are no young people who aren't out there fighting for their beliefs (high school students who have experienced school shootings, come to mind!). It also doesn't mean that we shouldn't talk to kids about these important issues. But in general, it may be that in the case of young people, and perhaps most adults as well, we seem to need something more than just the idea that there is inequality and bias in the world to motivate us to action. Isn't some relevant life experience essential as well?
Your son may actually understand and deeply appreciate what you're talking about now, and want to do something about it... at a later time...